Busy busy busy :P

19 Apr

Hey you lot, it’s been a longgggggg time since I posted huh ._. Well, blame the school for pratically burying me in homework, projects & tests.

Thank you so much. (Yes. Please note the sarcasm)

Anyways, that’s not the main point here haha xD I tend to digress quite a lot I feel completely worn out both inside and out (urgh) and since I don’t have anywhere to vent, might as well vent here since nobody visits this sad little blog anyways(‘: yes I’m pitying my pathetic little self

Well today started out quite ok with SP with my awesome section mates unlike me… I feel totally inferior and useless who I love loads(: then first perios was napfa 5 stations (I think I might be able to finally get a GOLD this time) YAYYYYYYY *throws buckets of confetti* my first ever gold in this school… hehe SQUEALLLLLLLL lol I’m acting so gay not that I hate gays though… I’m actually quite ok with them I think So yeaaaaa the start of the day turned out quite ok xD

All my lessons afterwards turned out quite ok too but thennn, cca started and all hell broke loose. Ok not literally. But yea you get what I mean ._.

My temper/patience/mood hasn’t been all that good recently so yea I’m kinda like a ticking bomb ready to explode. Literally. I don’t really wanna ramble about what happened during cca cos I really really love my cca despite it being quite… sometimes.

So yea, this and that happened andddd here I am all depressed/pissed/annoyed/irritated/emo-ish. Gah. Not the best of me huh.

I started thinking about how I act normally and wondering if people really like me or not. Yes I’m being emo now. You can skip this part if you want to. Not. I think about how they act and I actually think they kinda don’t…)’: which makes me kinda sad… I’m just some sort of substitude when their friend isn’t there with them. Sometimes I really wish I won’t think so much. It gives me headaches. And all the time, I actually want to be someone else. But I wouldn’t trade my family with the world. Even if I don’t have any real friends, at least my family will be there for me (‘: oh man I’m getting all emotional now… seriously what the hell is wrong with me and my hormones?! Urgh this sucks. I have friends I hang out with everyday but I have to hold my feelings back most of the time. Like annoyance, anger etc. Everytime I accidentally can’t hold back, they get pissed at me or just easily judge me based on that one time. I ain’t no saint. I’m not nice all the time. On the other hand, my friends behave just the way they are and I accept it. Why can’t they do the same?

I HATE THINKING SO MUCH DAMMIT.

Ok I shall stop my random ranting session for now even though I have so much more left to say Thanks for hearing me out. Whoever you people are. I’ll be really sincerely grateful if you don’t judge me on this.

P.s. sorry there’s no gifs or images. If I continue posting I’ll make sure to post them next time(:

Bye bye for now 😀

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